The Resignation of the Succubus

February 14, 2009

Lamashtu Enterprises
613 Mara Lane, Suite 47
Gloaming Gap, PA 94823

Dear Ms. Lilith:

As you know I have been a trusted colleague and faithful employee here at Lamashtu Enterprises for most of my life. In that amount of time, I can say that I have found my employment here to be, on the whole, highly satisfying. I’m sure, however, that you are intimately acquainted with my increased frustration regarding my current assignment.

By nature of our work, I have come to view you as more than just my employer. I see you as a sister and a friend as well, and as such, would like to deviate from protocol slightly to offer you further specifics on this situation that has brought my decision to a climax. My hope is that you will, no doubt, realize that my reasons for resignation are through no particular fault of your own. I feel however, that over the course of time, specific changes in me have rendered me incapable of satisfactorily consummating my duties.

When you originally assigned me to our client, Mr. Andrew McClure, I entered into the contract with my usual levels of propriety and professionalism. Mr. McClure was no different than any of my previous clients, as oblivious to the true nature of our company as any of them are. He was, in fact, a fairly average young man, with nothing particularly note-worthy about him.

Because of this, I naturally assumed that it would be business as usual with him – I’d go in, turn the usual tricks, work out appropriate details on his long-range plans, and be back out in record time. I take pride in my work and, as I’m sure you have noted as well, my turnover time with clients has been steadily improving over the years.

It was only after our first meeting was over, and I found myself reviewing every detail of his demands, that I realized there was more to him than mortal eye can see. Unlike our usual clients, it seemed he was disappointed when our conference was over. I was, naturally concerned that I had erred in some way, that I had somehow improperly assessed his needs.

His tenacity for our business was a bit unsettling for me at first, but as I found him to be an endearing young man, I was willing to meet with him later that evening to continue with our projects. Perhaps I was hoping to prove to myself that I was doing all I could for him.

I found myself up against a wall on several occasions, very uncertain of which course to pursue with him, as he seemed to have far more “staying power” than most of our clients, continually discovering new situations for us to tackle, long after I thought I’d satisfied his queries. This left me more than frustrated as I found myself becoming more and more emotionally invested in the project and was unable to separate my personal feelings from my professional stress.

He reassured me time and time again that he was enamored with my work and found me to be one of his most competent partners. This confused me even further, of course, leaving me to wonder what was wrong with me that I seemed suddenly unable to provide any lingering satisfaction in our work together, if he were really telling me the truth.

The more involved we became with one another, the more I realized that the price that our company requires is far higher than I could ask him to pay. I found myself wishing there were a way that I could pay the bill for him – or better yet, merely comp. my services for him. He seemed to be holding up fairly well (more so than some of our clients with our exorbitant rates), but I noticed that he did eventually begin to show signs of fatigue in this department. As this occurred, the usual frequency and regularity, as well as the length of our appointments waned as one can expect to happen when the cost outweighs what one can afford to pay.

Frankly, the idea of our relationship coming to an end in this typical manner was far more painful to me than simply terminating the contract entirely. He was of course devastated to find that I would be walking away from my commitment to see this to the end, and was incredibly insistent that he did not understand my reasons (nor did he seem to care to hear them). However, I feel that it is better for all involved parties if I withdraw from the situation both where he is concerned, and where the company is concerned.

Rest assured, I have continued to maintain all confidentiality with Mr. McClure in regard to the true nature of our business. He is as yet unaware of the supernatural aspects of our association, thinking that he is nothing more than a jilted lover in a misguided office romance. This knowledge causes me pain, which I cannot begin to describe to you, but regardless of my desire to illuminate him with my true identity, I will remain utterly discrete and professional, regardless of my standing with the company. The true complication is, of course, that he and I were developing a strong attachment with one another like I had never experienced with any of my previous clients.

Regardless of his understanding of what happened, I will continue to monitor him. Please be assured, as long as I live and breathe – or at least as long as I continue to pretend to be a living, breathing creature — that the contract on his life will not be fulfilled. Do not take this as an empty threat. I hope to maintain continued friendship with you and the other members of the company. I will, however, protect Mr. McClure from the inevitable demise involved with any relationships with you and your associates.

Image by Melanie Hill

Perhaps I should get back to the point of this letter. I just don’t feel that I’m contributing sufficiently to the overall direction and purpose of Lamashtu Enterprises, nor can I, in good conscience (yes, I’m aware of the irony of this particular term as it relates here), continue to promote the company’s methods, particularly in relation to specific targets or assignments as I have outlined above.

Therefore, it is with regret that I ask you to accept this as my resignation from Lamashtu Enterprises effective immediately.

Karin Namath

cc: Inhuman Resources Department

Author: Nean Burkholder

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