May 1, 2010 8:03 AM – Called my mom two days ago. Weird that she hasn’t called back.
May 1, 2010 9:17 AM – Off to work at the park. Big landscaping project. Excited about greening the place up a bit.
May 1, 2010 9:31 AM – I’m at Gloaming Gap Community Park (4 Cemetery Rd, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare

May 2, 2010 10:11 AM –
I hate running errands. Anyone want to do them for me?
May 2, 2010 10:16 AM – No takers, eh? Fine, it’s about time to get my ass moving, I guess.
May 2, 2010 10:48 AM – I’m at Rahab’s Apartment Complex (8 Spectre St, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 2, 2010 10:48 AM – I have just become mayor of Rahab’s Apartment Complex (8 Spectre St, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare

May 3, 2010 4:03 PM – I’m at Gloaming Gap Groceries (15 Lost Highway, Gloaming Gap). http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 3, 2010 4:29 PM – Dear check-out girls: I should not have to wait to have my groceries scanned while you flirt with the boys in the deli! Sincerely, Me
May 3, 2010 4:37 PM – Went to complain to store manager, who pretended I wasn’t even there.
May 3, 2010 4:38 PM – Guess I have to use the U-Scan. This is ridiculous.

May 4, 2010 12:12 PM – Fuming at Outback Steak House on Route 58 (16 Lost Highway) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 4, 2010 12:16 PM – Way to work this morning, guy nearly runs me over and then just drives off.
May 4, 2010 12:19 PM – Seriously, how could you NOT see me there, you F*in’ moron!
May 4, 2010 12:24 PM – Apparently I have a sign that says, “Please, pull out in front of me! Really, I love sudden stops!”

May 5, 2010 7:45 AM – Damn, I need coffee.
May 5, 2010 8:08 AM – I’m at Crystal’s Coffee Shop (23 S. Main Street) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 5, 2010 8:13 AM – Okay, if you’re not going to take my order, I’ll just take someone else’s drink.
May 5, 2010 8:19 AM – Cashier shrugged when I threw my money on the counter. Just put it in the register. Asshole!

May 6, 2010 3:00 PM – I’m beginning to get a complex. No one has even noticed me for days. It’s like I don’t exist.
May 6, 2010 3:02 PM – …and, I’m beginning to think my mom hates me. Tried to call again today. Still no answer.
May 6, 2010 3:07 PM – I think this qualifies as the worst week ever.

May 7, 2010 5:11 PM – Stupid idiot threw his burger wrapper on the ground today. I balled it up and threw it back at him.
May 7, 2010 5:13 PM – Hit him on the head. He stopped and turned, ready to yell. Got confused as if he didn’t see me, shrugged, walked away.
May 7, 2010 5:21 PM – This may sound stupid, but it feels like I’m invisible. I mean, *I* can see me, but maybe I’m the only one.

May 8, 2010 12:13 PM – Walked up to a cop this morning, managed to get his attention. Started talking to him, but he walked away in the middle of my sentence.
May 8, 2010 12:13 PM – Looks like I’m not *invisible*…just really, really unnoticeable. ‘Course, if it talks like a duck and looks like a…invisible duck…
May 8, 2010 12:16 PM – I could have a lot of fun with this. I could be…a superhero! I’d tell all of you not to laugh, except nobody’s paying attention.

May 9, 2010 9:41 AM – I’m at Gloaming Gap Community Park (4 Cemetery Rd, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 9, 2010 11:11 AM – Something bugging me. There really aren’t any superheroes who were invisible. It’s kind of a villain power, really.
May 9, 2010 11:16 AM – Don’t wanna be a villain. Sure, they laugh the most, but things usually go badly for them. So…hero.
May 9, 2010 11:16 AM – Ooh, *vigilante*!
May 9, 2010 11:39 AM – While pondering being hero, guy tossed burger wrapper. Grabbed it; wiped ketchup all over his suit. Take that, evil-doer!

May 10, 2010 8:00 PM – I have decided I will save the planet, one piece of litter at a time.
May 10, 2010 8:00 PM – I will call myself, Invisible Keith, Earth Avenger.
May 10, 2010 8:03 PM – HAHA! Take that scum-dumping scum of the earth!

May 11, 2010 8:03 AM – I just realized that Invisible Keith, Earth Avenger shortens to IKEA. I may need to rethink this title.

May 12, 2010 5:41 PM – I’m at Charly’s Restaurant (42 Town Square) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 12, 2010 5:57 PM – Guy lets his kid throw food on the floor and says nothing. I’m having his steak. …Heroically.
May 12, 2010 6:03 PM – Should see people’s faces when their food disappears. It’s priceless!

May 13, 2010 9:44 AM – But…I have an idea. Will be back later tonight. Need to repaint the bathroom stalls at the park, first.
May 13, 2010 9:46 AM – I’m beginning to wonder the point of checking in with Foursquare. There’s a sort of moot-ness about saying where the Invisible Man is.
May 13, 2010 10:11 AM – I’m at Gartner’s Building Supply (47A High St, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 13, 2010 10:31 AM – I’m at Gartner’s Sporting Goods (47B Hight St, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare

May 14, 2010 1:04 AM – Waiting in the park… The bait should be irresistible. These guys always wreck the bathrooms right after I paint ’em.
May 14, 2010 2:16 AM – Car just pulled up. Three kids. This should be fun. Glad I got the aluminum bat.
May 14, 2010 2:28 PM – Very glad I got the aluminum bat. It took out the car windows, no problem. Scared the bejeezus outta those kids.
May 14, 2010 9:08 AM – Keith the Invisible Avenger rules!

May 15, 2010 10:01 AM – …”KIA”? No.

May 16, 2010 2:11 PM – Upside of vigilantism: You get things done. Downside? You don’t get to see the perp-walk.
May 16, 2010 2:55 PM – Major downside: There’s not gonna *be* a perp-walk! Police ignored my note about who’s been vandalizing the bathrooms!
May 16, 2010 2:59 PM – C’mon, what’s it take to get a guy arrested in this town, anyway?!

May 17, 2010 9:17 PM – I’m at Lost Highway Bar & Grill (3113 Lost Highway, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com/ #foursquare
May 17, 2010 10:36 PM – I’m trying to decide if I’m drunk yet – staring into an empty glass, wondering where it’s gone. How existential.
May 17, 2010 10:48 PM – I’d ask for another drink, but I’m pretty sure the bartender won’t notice.
May 18, 2010 12:04 AM – Just took the keys from our local drunk. He stared at me for just a minute, as if he actually saw me.
May 18, 2010 12:06 AM – He just passed out. The one person who might actually see me just. passed. out.

May 18, 2010 10:27 AM – Back at work, planting trees. Gotta do something to make a difference for the earth.
May 18, 2010 1:55 PM – Thought of a new name. Planet Earth’s Next Invisible Savior. Does that make me a dick?

May 19, 2010 1:40 PM – Landlord just re-rented my apartment. Stared right through me when he said “Nobody’s been here for a month.”
May 19, 2010 2:16 PM – Rescuing my stuff from the dumpster. He could have at least recycled.
May 19, 2010 2:17 PM – Guess I’ll stay with Mom for a while.

May 20, 2010 9:13 AM – Okay, I get that no one notices me. I get that no one cares. But my own mother?
May 20, 2010 9:14 AM – Not a single Happy Birthday.
May 20, 2010 9:20 AM – If I make a wish on my candles, will the Universe even notice?

May 21, 2010 11:02 AM – Peek-a-boo… I see you. Can you see me?
May 21, 2010 11:56 PM – Can you hear me now?

May 22, 2010 10:22 AM – I feel restless. This vigilante thing is boring. Especially when no one even notices!
May 22, 2010 11:48 AM – Yes, I just cleaned up after you, idiot. Do I look like your mother? No. I don’t look like anyone.

May 23, 2010 4:35 AM – Does anyone even follow me?
May 23, 2010 11:12 AM – Are you reading this?
May 23, 2010 4:29 PM – Do I exist if no one hears me? Have you seen me lately?
May 23, 2010 7:45 PM – If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it…

May 24, 2010 12:01 PM – **tap, tap** Hello? Is this thing on?

May 25, 2010 10:13 AM – It’s getting lonely with no one to talk to. That’s why I tweet. At least my computer screen listens.
May 25, 2010 10:20 AM – I tweet, therefore I am.

May 26, 2010 8:44 AM – Perhaps I’ll just sit on the roof today and throw random junk at people.
May 26, 2010 11:26 AM – No one seems to care.

May 27, 2010 1:33 PM – This saving the earth thing is too hard.
May 27, 2010 1:57 PM – Screw ’em. Screw being heroic. I’m invisible, yeah? Heroes aren’t invisible. They’re seen. And loved. I’m not. Screw ’em.

May 28, 2010 9:16 AM – I didn’t really mean that yesterday. I didn’t.
May 28, 2010 9:23 AM – I’m at Gloaming Gap Community Park (4 Cemetery Rd, Gloaming Gap) http://www.gloaminggap.com #foursquare
May 28, 2010 9:24 AM – I’ve unlocked the Local Badge. #foursquare

May 29, 2010 1:55 PM – Jackass sitting at the red light sucking on a bottle of whiskey. These are the worst kind of scum.
May 29, 2010 1:57 PM – Light changed. He flicked his cigarette butt out the window and knocked over the booze, trying to shift into gear.
May 29, 2010 2:06 PM – I didn’t know it was gonna make the car explode when I tossed it back in the window. Serves him right though.
May 29, 2010 2:41 PM – Maybe it’s a good thing no one knows I’m here.

Image by Melanie Hill

May 30, 2010 2:14 AM – It’s easier to watch people when they don’t even know you’re there.
May 30, 2010 2:18 AM – The world may not notice me, but I notice them.

May 31, 2010 9:17 AM – Should work on drawing up a plan to take over the world.